Ta ta 2008. Here's to life in 2009

I have never been this glad to say goodbye to a year. 2008 is one tumultuous year for me to say the least. Health and wealth took a U-turn in a completely unexpected way. In my darkest hour, however, there are bright spots in the moral support from family, colleagues and friends who brought so much comfort.

Radiation therapy ended two weeks ago, bringing the second part of my treatment to a close. Side effects are minimal and the skin of the affected area is slowly returning from 'leathery' to normal. There are hardly signs of burnt skin, only some redness as if I've been out in the sun long. Spent a great deal of my time finishing the leave entitlement for 2008 and staying away from crowded places.

Just been to a TCM doctor, one of the many that I will encounter in my quest to seek herbal balance in my well-being after the trauma of the chemo and radiation onslaught. With hormonal therapy next on the cards, I hope to survive the 'clash of the civilisations' with little side effect or complications.

Here's to life, health and peace of mind in 2009!!

Sunnybunny

Can't wait to say goodbye to 2008

Time really flies. I'm now mid-way through the radiation therapy. Side effects are relatively minimal as the expected redness around the treated area has yet to turn up. I'm assured that if it does, it will be gone within a short time. Fatigue continues to be the main drag on my well-being. Earlier this week, knee joint stiffness was mistaken for bone pain, setting off paranoidal fears of cancer returning to the bones.

Looking forward to my son No.2 returning home for 2 months. I can sure use some mother-son bonding time.

December looks to be atypical in terms of workload. With half the desk gone on leave, I'm busier than usual covering for my staff as reports have to be prepared for clients who are increasingly demanding explanations for their reduction of wealth (from the effects of the financial distress).

Have to make this short as I'm poring over the tons of analyst reports before I hit the sack.

sunnybunny

The next phase of treatment is pleasantly light

After a week, which is also the 1st of five, of radiotherapy, I'm none the worse for the experience. The after effect of slight fatigue was felt but easily overcome with more rest. The scheduling is to fit my work hours as I take the last slot so that I return home for rest. The cumulative effects of fatigue, small joint stiffness and some tan on affected areas are to be felt only mid-way through. So, save for the inconvenience of having to make daily trips for a few seconds of rad beaming, this phase of my treatment is easy on the body.

Diet-wise, there has been no major changes. Now looking up literature, talking to fellow patients for TCM boost for the body that has been wrecked by chemo drugs in the past 5 months. Eu Yan Sang, the Chinese herbalist shop I'm told, is more reliable in terms of product quality. With the current global scare about China's creative ways of speeding and increasing output of anything she plans to produce, one cannot be more careful about goods from there.

The year 2008 is coming to an end. To say that it has been eventful for me is an understatement. Similarly, the global economy has gone through a credit and the resultant economic shock and is currently undergoing treatment via bailout and fiscal measures policy makers around the world are putting forth. Like me, treatment is necessary before it can get back on its feet. Too often the world forgets that the patient's fever has to run its course before the intended benefits of treatment are seen.

Daily we are bombarded by unrelenting media forecast on how 2009 is going to be worse for the economy. We'll have to be more prudent, batten the hatches and seek help if necessary while waiting for the storm to be over. As for me it is also time to reflect and make changes, spending more time on myself and what I would like to do. Hopefully, economic considerations do not weigh too heavily in these plans. Like everyone, I pray that the recession is not a fat 'U'.

It's not over until the fat lady sings. The fat lady sang last Thurs

The roughest part of my treatment is finally over!!. Last Thurs I had my 6th and last chemo shot with minimal side effects, dispensing, to my pleasant surprise, the need for the usual afternoon rest. I was all perked up and raring to celebrate with a nice lunch and some shopping for the strong pipeline of social get togethers.

My radiation therapy starts on 17 Nov. Dr Lee, the doctor taking care of me is again another professional in whom I have confidence. His patience in fielding my hundred and one questions relating to the next leg of my treatment is highly commendable.

My red blood cell count has returned to 10+ level and should be on its way to the pre-chemo days of high 12. My dietary discipline will now be put to a test after recent relaxation on account of "eat whatever you desire as after all the drug will help rid the toxins". Back to healthy salads, more juices, steamed/braised food. What's more, hair growth is noted after the 5th cycle. On my way for the Joan of Arc look.

After a long break, I returned last Saturday to the museum volunteer guiding scene with what I consider a truly satisfying tour on the "Doubleness" exhibition by renowned Taiwanese photojournalist, Chang Chien Chi at the NMS (National Museum of Singapore). The lives of those in the photos make me realise that my plight is not the end of the world when compared to some whose lives are a 'living hell' on earth for a much protracted period.

I'll be joining the support group for breast cancer patients in 2009 when my radiation therapy is completed, to share my experience with fellow patients. My message to them focuses on positive thinking, exercise, yoga, discipline and especially blogging to transfer stress and depression.

sunnybunny

Blogging is so therapeutic

A friend of mine emailed me an article suggesting that blogging is good for cancer patients. I cannot agree more with this notion. Since my diagnosis, I started my blog with various intentions in mind but chief is the need to 'release' tension from hidden fear and stress of the unknown and unventured. While the frequency of my blogs has abated to once every 3 weeks or so, I still feel the immense relief whenever I pen my thoughts on coming treatments and sometimes what I consider needless medical interventions.

Life is starting to take on a more predictable rhythm. Barley green drink first thing in the morning, yoga while waiting for the body to absorb the nutrients of the drink, breakfast, newspapers, and, getting ready for work. At work, great effort is taken not to be stressed by financial market volatility, something quite difficult to wish away these days. Calling it a day whenever I feel I've completed an honest day's work. No wonder I went through my 5th cycle last Thurs feeling like nothing out of the ordinary. But wait! I actually completed the 5th shot and am ready on the 23 of this month to finish the final chemo shot. The prospect of a 5-week radiation course thereafter seems like 'small beer' in comparison.

There are many things to look forward to: less restrictive diet, hair re-growth, a new lease of life, more get-together with friends, etc. An important promise which I'm going to keep - help in the support group for breast cancer patients. High on my list is encouraging them to start a blog.

Sunnybunny

Felt strangely surreal on my 1st day back at work

Returned to office 2 days ago after more than 3 months of absence. The desk is still there, wiped clean with all electronic-based system switched on at 9am as welcome. Like to think it was not done to avoid delay in my having to deal with the tumultuous conditions in the financial markets. The past months of rest have the effect of making feel somewhat detached from the on-going crisis, a surprising departure from my usual immersion in similar events that have dotted my career in the past 25 years or so. Yes, I saw the volatile price movements on the screen but yet felt strangely calm. Perhaps my medical condition has unconsciously made me more philosophical about what's happening currently.

My work routine is going to be flexible, thanks to an understanding boss. Working hours will fit how my body feels in the day. Hopefully, work pressure will be kept at bay until I'm fitter to cope with it. If not, the appeal of early retirement beckons.

My 5th cycle starts tomorow. The week following it is one that is gastronomically delightful. To start off, one of my long-time friend from our Golden Girls Club is here in town to have her cousin whip up a 'not-to-missed' Hari Raya brunch. It is followed by daily lunch appointments with work associates who can't wait to catch up with me.

Health-wise, trying hard to stick to the straight and narrow path of healthy eating, yoga and walks. As the chemo treatment comes to an end in mid Oct, I'm starting to prepare myself to return to a fuller social life in museum-guiding activities.

sunnybunny

Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel

The 4th chemo cycle which started yesterday was a breeze. Drug used was no longer the hard-hitting Epirubicin administered in the first three. Instead, Taxotere, a lighter drug in terms of after-effect discomfort was given; it will be this for the 5th and 6th cycles. I spent today much in rest, awaiting the expected after-effect of slight fatigue. It came but went off after a short nap in the afternoon. No nausea.

Back to Epirubicin. It was indeed strong going by the falling haemoglobin level (red blood cell count) since the start of the chemo session. I used to be a high 12 on haemoglobin and has since seen the level lowered steadily to the latest count of 8+. Any lower, blood transfusion has to be introduced. The attendant risks of this are high enough to prompt Dr Khoo to give me an iron injection. It certainly cost a lot ($1500) to bring back some colour to my cheeks. Hopefully, this, like the white cell booster shot, will stave the need for blood transfusion. It was comforting to know that the chemo drug's suppression of red blood cells is temporary. I should be able to return to my normal levels by Dec. What a relief! Meantime, food rich in iron is to be eaten in greater quantity.

My kind boss in HK has given me more days for medical leave by allowing chemo sessions as time off work. So, instead of reporting for work on Sep 10, I need report only on 21st, which is to be extended, much to my annoyance, by yet another week on account of the F1 race taking place during that period. Roads and car-park inaccessibility means that I'll have to take public transport to work, a prospect I do not relish given the almost sanitised atmosphere I'm subject to in the past 3 months. Having come this far I'm not risking infection to derail my chemo program. No wonder they say that women come from Venus and men from Mars. Cannot see what this excitement from testerone-laden car racing fanatics is all about.

Now that I'v passed the half-way mark, am looking forward to the completion of the course and am thinking hard the past days on how to celebrate its end.

sunnybunny